Monday, October 15, 2007

Bad Camera

I am having camera problems so still no pics. I have been bad about taking them lately anyway but now that I can't it is very irritating. Especially since I can not post pics on ravlery! Hopefully I get it squared away soon.

On the knitting front I am almost done with a sweater for me done in di've Autunno. Oh....it is so soft. I can not wait to wear it. I am also working on a v-neck for Savy. It is pink and purple stripes done it calmer i think. I don't feel like going to look. It is going to be pretty large on her but she can grow into it. And of course I had to buy yarn for a double pattern...The ola blanket done it Mission Falls cotton. There are also many other things on the needles but I am forcing myslef to start finishing. I keep having to buy more bags to put my wips in. It is getting pretty ridiculous!

The kids are amazing as always. Savy loves kindergarten and wishes she could go all day. She is already starting to read! I am so proud of her! Daxton is into everything!! Boys are absolutely different than girls. He just wears me out. At 15 months old he climbs up the tv cabinet, pushes his scooter over to the kitchen table and gets on top, etc, etc... He also has really discovered his voice. He loves to hear himself yell..much to my dismay! :)

Still trying to deal with this whole fibromyalgia thing. I am so lucky that is was not something degenerative!!! Still...this is so hard. All the dreams I had seemed to come crashing down. My worst fear...to be the sick mom! That is not who I want to be. I was the do-it-all mom. Leading campfire, helping at school, going to school myself, the neighborhood playhouse, etc.. There are so many lifestyle changes to make and I feel overwhelmed. And then there is the fibro fog...the memory problems. I used to remember everyhing in my head. A million things to do all organized neatly there. Now I can not remember to pay the bills or take apples to savy's school for a project. Sometimes the pain is so bad I want to cry..all the while chasing Daxton around the house. I am at a loss on how to handle it all, which changes to make, which to make first, how to still be the BEST mom, and how to keep up with Daxton! And through it all I think my sensitivity to noise is one of the worst things. Everytime the kids yell or the baby screams I fell like I am going insane. Oh how I wish to just be me again. Just simply me, no improvements or embelishments. Just the old me would do. I still try to pretend so now one knows too much. I don't want to be the charity case or the sick one. I just wish it would go away. Enough already...I know.

We are going to the pumpkin patch with the kids next weekend so celebrate all the birthdays. I can't wait. I better get the camera fixed by then.

I love ravelry!!!

I will try to post more often...and not whine.

3 comments:

Carolyn said...

I love you....and I'm proud of you! You amaze me the way you keep on keeping on. Just remember that you are not defined by this disease, Honey, but by who you are!

Jennifer said...

Please, please, please email me. I promise I can help. Or at least be truly empathetic. I have FM. I beat it with diet and exercise. And I chase a 15 month old around while 12 weeks pregnant. I'd love to share what worked for me with you. I sorted through all kinds of books and found out what worked for me in terms of what changes to make first. I leave you this email address at the risk of being over run with spam simply because I want to help.

nifers@yahoo.com

Jenni P McD said...

Hey there! Followed you over from the Ravelry...I'm lurvin' that place.

Just keep on keepin' on with the fibro and remember there's a group of us over there at Rav that are right there with you. It *IS* tough. I know and totally understand. But you don't have to go through it alone or without people who understand or can sympathize.

Take Care!